Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

History is replete with proofs, from Cato the Elder to Kennedy the Younger, that if you scratch a statesman you find an actor, but it is becoming harder and harder, in our time, to tell government from show business.

I write humor the way a surgeon operates, because it is a livelihood, because I have a great urge to do it, because many interesting challenges are set up, and because I have the hope it may do some good.

A lady of 47 who has been married 27 years and has six children knows what love really is and once described it for me like this: 'Love is what you've been through with somebody'.

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make sense.

All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first.

For one thing, she pronounced flowers 'flars' and I couldn't let it slide.