He knows all about art, but he doesn't know what he likes.

Art – the one achievement of man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised

A husband should not insult his wife publicly, at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of the home.

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

I never quite know when I'm not writing. Sometimes my wife comes up to me at a party and says, "Dammit, Thurber, stop writing." She usually catches me in the middle of a paragraph.

It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. 'I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,' said Lisa.

I hate women because they have brought into the currency of our language such expressions as "all righty" and "yes indeedy" and hundreds of others.