Look, just go sit at the card table with the rest of the kids and let the adults run the country.

Sometimes the way you respond to horrific, evil deeds is the measure of one's self as a man, as a nation, as people, as a community.

Golfers are genuinely courteous in a discourteous world. Show me a guest on The Jerry Springer Show who's a golfer.

I'm famous for being nicer to my fans than anyone on the face of the earth because I figure, a) They pay my salary, and b) It's probably like a big moment in your life to meet somebody; so I would say, 'Just come on up.'

When I was in high school, we were all laboring under the illusion, or maybe it was a reality, that everyone in our school was a virgin.

Look, just go sit at the card table with the rest of the kids and let the adults run the country.

My second ex-wife was really kind of like a ship passing in the night. Only she turned out to be the Exxon Valdez.