It’s mentally exhausting, feeling bad about something you can do nothing about.

There's been times when I have actually had sex indoors. And then you kind of sober up a little when it's over. I become like a bartender at 2 AM. OK, people, let's move it out! Yeah, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

The first Tea Party protest was scheduled for Inauguration Day. So what were they upset about? Which part of the job he was doing before he even did it were they upset about? Secondly, if they claim to be upset with government corruption, government takeover, crazy spending, where were they from 2000 to 2008? Right? And why weren't they protesting the stolen elections?

I guess when your heart gets broken, you sort of start to see the cracks in everything.

Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.

All roads lead to my dogs, don't they?

The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.