As you can tell from watching the show, I'm not a strong joke writer per se.

The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.

You young people with your twittering and your creating of content. Or what is it - queefing? I don't know what you young people are calling it.

I was just utterly oblivious to how difficult it was, and how difficult it was going to be, and then also in the mid-eighties through the mid-nineties there was a boom of sorts. So there were plenty of stages. If I had started now, there would be very few places to get better and better.

Rejection kills, disappointment only maims.

Herman Cain is probably well liked by some of the Republicans because it hides the racist elements of the Republican Party. Conservative movement and tea party movement... People like Karl Rove liked to keep the racism very covert. And so Herman Cain provides this great opportunity say you can say ‘Look, this is not a racist, anti-immigrant, anti-female, anti-gay movement. Look we have a black man!'” Garofalo hypothesized. “Look he’s polling well and won a straw poll!

Boy, does that give you street cred for years after, if you tell people you were on 'The Larry Sanders Show!'