As you can tell from watching the show, I'm not a strong joke writer per se.

I mostly get takeout, I have to admit - I don't know if that's something to be ashamed of. I'm not much of a cook.

He [God] just seems so man-made to me. There are so many theories, and not everyone can be right. It's human nature to need a religious crutch, and I don't begrudge anyone that. I just don't need one.

Should have dogs before they have kids. Everybody.

I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.

It’s mentally exhausting, feeling bad about something you can do nothing about.

I'm sorry for being me. I won't ever do it again.