As you can tell from watching the show, I'm not a strong joke writer per se.

German accents and Hassidic accents aren't that romantic. They're more harsh. Although Hebrew, when spoken by certain people, sounds beautiful. There's this beautiful woman I know who speaks Hebrew, and when she speaks, it's so attractive. Maybe it's who's speaking it.

All roads lead to my dogs, don't they?

Evil is in the face of every frat guy that ever raised a beer cup and went "whoooooo!"

I'm sorry for being me. I won't ever do it again.

Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!

I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.