The Bible, I've said it before, is a beautifully written work of fiction.

He [God] just seems so man-made to me. There are so many theories, and not everyone can be right. It's human nature to need a religious crutch, and I don't begrudge anyone that. I just don't need one.

I'm not a big fan of the comics competing against each other.

For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I'll write it down.

Unfortunately, I am not one of those comics where it's guaranteed that I hit it out of the park every time. You know, I am not completely reliable. It's always different, and it's a complete crapshoot whether I'm going to do well.

Anthony Weiner deserves to be supported and hopefully he will be mayor of New York one day. I'm serious. He is a Democrat [who] actually fights for the things liberals and progressive and rational people care about. I don't know why he's being thrown under the bus. He hasn't done any - he hasn't broke any laws.

Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating.