I was too ignorant to realize, "Oh, this will be difficult."

I got mugged. And they got my knapsack with my comedy notebook in it. So if anybody see two cholos bombing at the Funny Bone chain, that would be them. Just give me a jingle.

I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.

I would tell the Democrats in Washington who are trying to be civil with the "bipartisanship" to please stop and let the joker die once and for all, let the agents of chaos hit the pavement, stop picking them up.

I make jewelry occasionally. I'm not a hobbyist. I'm a reader, I'm a lover of books, I like to watch movies, but mostly a lot of nothing. I'm quite content doing very little.

I did not support Operation Desert Fox.

A war is going to destroy our economy even further. It's going to be a threefold humanitarian disaster.