The reason a person is a republican is because something is wrong with them. Again, that's science - that's neuroscience. You cannot be well adjusted, open-minded, pluralistic, enlightened and be a republican.

Granted, not really a joke, but how often do you get a mic in your hand? You know? So. I am sorry but don't anybody trip on my soap box on the way out. Don't anybody trip over that. And the chip on my shoulder's a little heavy. I have back problems now.

The teabaggers - do I know every single one of them? No. Can I see that there's a lot of racist bullshit going on? Absolutely. Would it have been welcome to see more of these "anti-government" types around after the stolen election? It would have been good to see it. I wouldn't have liked to see them with their immigrant-bashing and their stupid signs.

Evil is in the face of every frat guy that ever raised a beer cup and went "whoooooo!"

I do not enjoy when people don't like me.

I don't know who you're referring to exactly who said, 'What has Iraq done to us?'

I don't understand why, in entertainment, the hours are as long as they are. It seems like everything takes forever, and no one can tell you why exactly.