I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.

I really wouldn't classify the books as mysteries. I prefer to say that they're adventures.

I checked my phone messages. Three in all. The first was from Joe. “Hey, Cupcake.” That was it. That was the whole message. The second was from Ranger. “Yo.” Ranger made Joe look like a chatterbox.

He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us. "I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me," Ranger said. [Stephanie] "She wants to see you naked." "I wish you hadn't told me that, babe." "Everyone I know wants to see you naked." "And you?" "Never crossed my mind." I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wouldn't stike me down dead for lying.

I am not menopausal. I just wanted half an hour alone. Is that too much to ask? A crappy half hour!

I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engine.

Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.