How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.

You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.

When people ask what you do, tell them you're a writer. Put yourself on the line. Make a commitment.

I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.

Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.

You're a magnet for mess. I've never seen anything like it. Lula to Stephanie

You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli