Mrs. Zuppa was coming in from bingo just as I was leaving the building. "Looks like you're going to work," she said, leaning heavily on her cane. "What are you packin'?" "A thirty-eight." "I like a nine-millimeter myself." "A nine's good." "Easier to use a semiautomatic after you've had hip replacement and you walk with a cane," she said. One of those useful pieces of information to file away and resurrect when I turn eighty-three.

You're a magnet for mess. I've never seen anything like it. Lula to Stephanie

If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.

You owe me!" -Stephanie "Why do I owe you?" -Joe "I caught your no good cousin." -Stephanie "Yeah and in the process you burned down a funeral home, and damaged thousands of dollars of government property." -Joe "Well if you are going to be picky about it...." -Stephanie

I take in a lot of stuff from real life, movies, television, news and it all gets mixed in my head and somehow turns into a story idea.

God's a busy guy. He don't have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It's early in the morning. He's probably having breakfast with Mrs. God.

You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.