I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman.

How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.

Ranger’s gonna hate this,” Tank said. “Better to get shot than to have to explain the gate. Bad enough I got a horse that smells like his shower gel.

I really wouldn't classify the books as mysteries. I prefer to say that they're adventures.

Have you eaten?' I asked Diesel. When?' Recently.' No.

And then it gets so hot that they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs." Mr. Landowsky

My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn." "She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action." -Ranger and Stephanie