Romance novels are birthday cake and life is often peanut butter and jelly. I think everyone should have lots of delicious romance novels lying around for those times when the peanut butter of life gets stuck to the roof of your mouth.

Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.

Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.

Well, sure, but I don't bring God into it. I think shower massage might have been invented by the devil. God invented the missionary position.

I disconnected and made a mental note not to call Tank unless I was bleeding profusely, and he was the only other person on earth.

I struggled to learn basic skills, get a grip on markets, find my own unique voice, create story lines and come up to speed with the industry. I struggled for ten years before having any success.

He doesn’t look very smart,” Diesel said. “He’s not even giving me the finger.” “Can monkey’s do that?” Hal asked. Carl gave him the finger. “Cool!” Hal said.