Ranger sent us to check on you," Hal said. "We just got here, and we heard shots." "Some moron ate my jelly doughnut," Lula said. "So I shot him.

Any intelligent woman would have made a dignified retreat, but this was New Jersey, where dignity always runs a poor second to the pleasure of getting in someone's face.

We were discussing a grisly double murder and Rodriguez was telling us all this in the same sort of conversational tone a person might use to pass on a favorite lasagna recipe. And I was responding with the same enthusiasm a new cook might show. I was simultaneously horrified and impressed with myself.

I was driving by, doing a security check... and I smelled leg of lamb." Morelli

My body is not designed to run. My body was designed to sit in an expensive care and drive.

On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time.

It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight." - Stephanie Plum