When you get ready to write your novel, outline it first. There's nothing worse than getting halfway through and realizing you've painted yourself in a plot corner.

Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.

Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasn’t he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my hamster’s cage was clean, I’d be happy to oblige.

Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last category. So sue me.

I don't want my readers slowed down by long passages of narrative.

Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please," he said. Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to "please." I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it. Okay," I said. "Be careful. He's insane.