I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny.

People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to live.

Parking at a garage is like going to a prostitute. Why pay for it when you can apply yourself, and then may be you can get it for free.

Television, in particular, doesn't look for talent; it looks for personas. You have a great persona? You can be a TV star.

Even when I was an actor in training, one criticism my teachers had was that I should think about directing instead of acting because the best actors see the material they’re working on through blinders. They can’t see anything but their role. I could never really do that.

There is no community service in Seinfeld. But rather than lauding that, I think it shows the insane banality of it.

Life and families and babies are all joyous gifts. But if we do not begin to truly account for our numbers, we will surely create an ecological crisis that will only lead to anguish and despair.