Television, in particular, doesn't look for talent; it looks for personas. You have a great persona? You can be a TV star.

It specifically says in the Torah that you can eat shrimp and bacon in a Chinese restaurant.

Parking at a garage is like going to a prostitute. Why pay for it when you can apply yourself, and then may be you can get it for free.

As George Costanza would say, when they're applauding, stop.

Boston was a great town to go to college in. Maybe that's why there's so many colleges there. I love the town, and I loved Boston University.

Thrilled that Gov. Romney enjoys my old character. I enjoyed the character he used 2 b 2. If he'd embrace that again, he'd b a great candidate.

Things that make me laugh range from a wonderful stand-up like Jerry Seinfeld, Louis C.K. and Chris Rock to my son Gabe, who does great improv work. I also look backwards to the great comedic actors like Jackie Gleason, Paul Lynde and Phil Silvers.