Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.

I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.

Goodness is weakness, pleasantness is poisonous, serenity is mediocrity and kindness is for losers. The best reason for committing loathsome and detestable acts – and let’s face it, I am considered something of an expert in this field – is purely for their own sake. Monetary gain is all very well, but it dilutes the taste of wickedness to a lower level that is obtainable by almost anyone with an overdeveloped sense of avarice. True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good.

How fishy on the fishiness scale? Ten is a stickleback and one is a whale shark." "A whale isn't a fish, Thursday." "A whale shark is--sort of." "All right, it's as fishy as a crayfish." "A crayfish isn't a fish." "A starfish, then." "Still not a fish." "This is a very odd conversation, Thursday.

...being written by someone who might not quite understand the subconscious nuance of the character leaves us in varying degrees of flatness.

Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere.

Without a yardstick sometimes the high points can be taken for granted.