The leaders of the Taliban said today that killing bin Laden won't solve the problem. But, you know, it couldn't hurt.

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.

The games haven't even started yet and already there are people complaining about the horrible accommodations at the Sochi Olympic village. Toilets don't flush. The faucets spew discolored water. They say it's like being on a Royal Caribbean cruise.

It's not called cocaine any more. It's now referred to as Crack Classic.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam.

These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American. That's how bad it's gotten.