Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam.

The Obama administration has revealed the size of America's nuclear arsenal. We have 1,000 warheads aimed at China, 1,000 aimed at Russia, and the rest aimed at Fox News.

You know who Boehner is, right? He's that orange looking guy. See, for Republicans that counts as diversity.

CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts: regular, premium and unleaded.

There is now a $5 million dollar bounty on Osama bin Laden. Which marks the first time in history there has ever been a bounty on a guy's head who wears Bounty on his head.

A jury found former Enron sleezeballs Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling guilty of fraud and conspiracy. Ken Lay? That's not a good name to have when you're going to prison. And Kenny Boy ain't too good either. ... I guess in prison they'll have done to them what they did to the stockholders.

It's cold out. It's even cold in Florida. So cold today that Katherine Harris put on a third layer of makeup.