Rumors have restarted that the Republican ticket will not be Bush-Cheney. But today those rumors were put to rest when Cheney said, 'No, I'm keeping him on the ticket.'

Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, "Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England".

Folks, we're starting to learn more and more about that man arrested in the New York SUV car bombing case. His name is Faisal Shahzad. He's from Pakistan. What tipped off the authorities he might be the bomber? His name is Faisal Shahzad. He's from Pakistan.

According to The New York Times, more than half of President Obama's Twitter followers are fake. They don't even exist. Which is actually a good thing because if they did exist there wouldn't be any jobs for them.

If I could ask Ken Lay one question right now, do you know what it would be? "Does the Devil really wear Prada?"

U.N. weapons inspectors found empty chemical warheads in Iraq. So, the question everyone is asking now is how did Sean Penn miss this?

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.