Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate.

Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence ... and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser.

There was a rumor that Jesse Jackson was going to go over there to talk with the Taliban, apparently they were having trouble rhyming the word Jihad.

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

The Environmental Protection Agency is conducting a seven-hundred-thousand-dollar study to see if Alaskan trees are polluting Oregon forests. You can tell Republicans are in power. Pollution? It's those damn trees.

While President Bush was out of town Hillary Clinton stopped by the White House on Friday for an important meeting with her decorator.

Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry came down pretty hard on fellow candidate Howard Dean this weekend. After Dean misspoke several times, Kerry said you can't misspeak 15 times in a week and be president. And Bush said, 'You can't'?