I'm glad the government has shut down. Think about it, for the first time in years it's safe to talk on the phone and send emails without anybody listening in.

American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade Iraq, the whole place is oil and cash. It's like Republican Disneyland.

According to the latest L.A. Times poll, 75% of Californians believe the country is headed in the wrong direction. And 60% of Californians are so disillusioned, they're thinking about moving back to Mexico.

I believe engineers will save the world.

People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it.

When a candidate walks away from a reality show, that's when you know they're serious about being president of the United States.

The difference between Men and Women is that Men love The 3 Stooges, and Women think they're assholes.