President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn't pronounce in countries he never knew existed.

With Halloween coming this weekend, they say not one person in the country is planning to dress up as Governor Sarah Palin. You know why? ... The costume costs $150,000.

There's a new Osama bin Laden video. He's the only person that is looking thin during the holidays. How does he do it? I think he's going to Jenny Craig.

President Obama signed a bill preventing members of Congress from profiting from insider trading. Didn't you think that was already illegal?

According to the New York Daily News, Geraldo said he is now carrying a gun, and he will personally shoot Osama bin Laden if he finds him. If Osama also has a gun, this could work out okay.

You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.

In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president.