There is now a $5 million dollar bounty on Osama bin Laden. Which marks the first time in history there has ever been a bounty on a guy's head who wears Bounty on his head.
Jay LenoPundits are saying that President Obama is starting to lose support among his own party. To give you an idea of how bad it's gotten, today Jimmy Carter compared him to Jimmy Carter.
Jay LenoA new poll says that if the election were held today, both John Kerry and John Edwards would beat President Bush by double digit margins. The White House is so worried about this, they're now thinking of moving up the capture of Osama Bin Laden to next month.
Jay LenoToday, you get better performance from a Ford Focus than a Ferrari from the mid-70s. [The Focus] is just as fast and with better fuel economy. It's fun to see supercar technology trickle down to everyday cars.
Jay LenoWe're heading for a gov. shutdown. This is serious. W/o the gov who will fail to inspect our airplanes? Who will fail to secure our borders? Who will put us 14 trillion dollars in debt?
Jay LenoThe federal government said today they've begun training sessions for airport security workers to provide what they call more customer satisfaction to the travels, they want to make it easier for us. They're instructing security guards to glance at your luggage tags so that they can call you by your first name. Isn't that creepy? The guy touching your wife, calling her by her first name.
Jay Leno