Researchers in England say tall men are more likely to have more children than short men. Here in America we call that the NBA theory.

A congressman actually apologized to BP's CEO for the way the company has been treated. How stupid are you when the CEO of BP is in the room and people think you're the moron?

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons. The Republicans refused to pass anything.

President Obama was in India yesterday visiting our jobs. Tomorrow he goes to China to visit our money.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

Howard Dean is a politician, a medical doctor and a Democrat. So he has three reasons to tell women to take off their clothes now.