Well, it looks like John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one of 12 children. He grew up in a two room home with just one bathroom, worked his way through school, became the first person in his family to graduate from college. And, sadly, fell in with the wrong crowd and wound up in Congress.

Bush fell off his bike while mountain biking on his ranch over the weekend. He hit a rough spot in the trail. There's a switch - the environment hurting Bush.

They always say the Miss America Pageant isn't a beauty contest, it's really a scholarship program. If that's the case, why don't we just put all the contestants on 'Jeopardy!' and pick Miss America that way? At least you get the smartest one.

Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Not with Iraq. With France and Germany. How did we screw that one up?

I think Donald Trump and Jeb Bush are the frontrunners. It's kind of like the race between the tortoise and the bad hair.

Today the Justice Department released e-mails where Walker criticized America. In the e-mails he said he never wanted to set foot in America again. See, that's the good part about hanging somebody. Their feet don't touch the ground.

Remember when Obama was campaigning? Didn't he say he was going to close Guantanamo Bay? Didn't he say that? Apparently, he just meant for renovations.