Now see, a lot of critics are saying Arnold can't get elected because he's just an ambitious guy with a famous name, who doesn't know anything about running the government. Didn't hurt George Bush.

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

The United States military is now using the music of Metallica and other heavy metal bands to break the will of Saddam Hussein supporters to get them to talk. Theyre blaring heavy metal music at them. That should make the artist feel pretty good, huh? Put your heart and soul into your last CD and the Army is using it to torture people.

Thanksgiving began in 1621 when Native Americans sat down with a bunch of undocumented pilgrims. They had dinner and the pilgrims never left.

Really? Anyone intimidated by Barack Obama? He can't even keep Joe Biden in line.

They say hot dogs can kill you. How do you know it's not the bun?

Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate.