When you do late-night TV, you do different jokes in the same place every night. When you're on the road as a comedian, you do the same jokes in a different place every night.

When you fix something with your hands it gives you a sense of accomplishment and a sense of self worth.

I like cars that are ahead of their times, and that were noble failures because they were built to a higher standard than the consumer needed. Cars like the Wills Sainte Claire or the Duesenberg.

President Obama told the Irish people that America will always stand by them, to which Israel laughed.

Having a life is easy. Having a career is hard to come by.

When they said "Make love, not war" at Woodstock, they never imagined that one would become as dangerous as the other.

And Ralph Nader, God bless him, still out there campaigning. Ralph Nader said today he has set a record for the most campaign speeches given in one day. He gave 21 speeches in one day. Of course, we have to take his word for it, because of course, there are no witnesses.