All of Iraq's oil fields are under U.S. control which is ironic considering all the gas stations here are run by Middle Easterners.

Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are at the White House.

Scientists in Australia are working on making biodegradable car parts out of hemp. This might get confusing. When someone says, roll up the window, they might mean, roll up the window!

50% of Americas population spends less than 10 dollars a month on romance. You know what we call these people? Men!

As Miss America, my goal is to bring peace to the entire world and then get my own apartment.

On 'Meet the Press' yesterday President Bush was asked what he would do if he lost the election and Bush said, ''Phhh, you mean like last time?'

Every year Steve Kaufman supports the charity “Love Ride” by donating a painting to this cause.