At the G-20 summit, the White House accidentally listed a phone-sex line for journalists seeking an on-record briefing call for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. To which Bill said, 'Boy, did they get the wrong number.'

A lot of American companies are now moving into Iraq. Iraq now has Pizza Hut, Subway, Taco Bell and Popeye's fried chicken. So, great, instead of oil for food, we're giving them oil in food.

The report on climate change said that humans are very likely making the planet warmer. To which Hillary Clinton said, 'Hey, can't blame me for that one.'

A survey asked married women when they most want to have sex. 84 per cent of them said right after their husband is finished.

(Gray) Davis said yesterday that he is going to fight like a Bengal tiger, which I believe is also an endangered species.

Ratings for the XFL are so low that pretty soon they'll be able to address the viewers by name.

Corporations complained about [safety] regulations, but let's face it, people walk away from accidents now that would have killed them when I was a kid