President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating.

There was another war-related casualty today. The French were injured when they tried to jump on our bandwagon.

A new poll says that if the election were held today, both John Kerry and John Edwards would beat President Bush by double digit margins. The White House is so worried about this, they're now thinking of moving up the capture of Osama Bin Laden to next month.

Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out on the ice and skate around reporters' questions, so it should be interesting.

President Obama said he plans on training 10,000 new math and science teachers. How about teaching math to that economic team of his?

Congratulation s to Rahm Emanuel on being elected mayor of Chicago. His first order of business after taking office will be to actually move to Chicago.

Diet Coke with lemon - didn't that used to be called Pledge?