President Obama said he plans on training 10,000 new math and science teachers. How about teaching math to that economic team of his?

It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the presidential nomination. The only thing that can sink John Kerry now is an Al Gore endorsement.

The FBI is urging all Americans to beware of any letters or packages that have badly misspelled words. Man, this is going to be terrible news for the rap industry.

Climate experts say we should tell villagers in developing countries to reduce the amount of cooking smoke they generate to help fix global warming. You know, it's as if these people don't hate us enough already. I mean, they live in mud huts, they have thatch roofs, their clothes are made of straw. We pull up in a bunch of Humvees and SUVs going, 'Hey, you want to cut the smoke out of here?'

Dean's wife, Judith Steinberg, made a rare appearance with Dean. She's a doctor, so I guess they brought her in to stop the hemorrhaging.

This week the White House proposed fingerprinting and photographing foreign visitors so they can do background checks. Officials in Saudi Arabia said this will only increase anti-American feelings in the Mideast. Is that possible? Gee, you hate to have people dislike us for no reason. Things were going so well.

Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of the English language.