Political experts are saying the reason John Kerry is doing so well is because he's 'electable.' Hey, so was Al Gore - in fact, he even got elected and it didn't help him at all.

As Miss America, my goal is to bring peace to the entire world and then get my own apartment.

The other day the plane that Barack Obama was on had some mechanical difficulties and was forced to land. Well, the National Transportation Safety Board did an inspection on the plane, and you know what they found? The bolts on the plane were fine, but apparently Jesse Jackson had taken some of the nuts off.

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

President Bush says he has just one question for the American voters, 'Is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were four years ago?'

In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administration. I agree. Sure, it may take another five years, but this is it.

Happiness is a privilege.