Barack Obama said yesterday that the economy was 'going to get worse before it gets better.' See, that's when you know the campaign is really over. Remember before the election? 'The audacity of hope!' 'Yes, we can!' 'A change we can believe in!' Now it's, 'We're all screwed.'

If I could ask Ken Lay one question right now, do you know what it would be? "Does the Devil really wear Prada?"

President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It's a stationary bike.

San Francisco hosted the first medical marijuana job fair. The keynote speech was titled, 'Jobs and How to Avoid Getting One.'

John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them.

Do you realize that the Bush administration has now produced more gay marriages than jobs?

The White House softball team played the pro-marijuana lobbyists' team and lost 25-3. Still no word yet on which side President Obama played for.