Climate experts say we should tell villagers in developing countries to reduce the amount of cooking smoke they generate to help fix global warming. You know, it's as if these people don't hate us enough already. I mean, they live in mud huts, they have thatch roofs, their clothes are made of straw. We pull up in a bunch of Humvees and SUVs going, 'Hey, you want to cut the smoke out of here?'
Jay LenoHere's an interesting figure: 43 percent of the incoming congressional freshmen are millionaires. The other 57 percent are Democrats.
Jay LenoActually, you know who gave the shortest inauguration speech in history? George Washington. It was only like three minutes long. Well, sure. George Washington couldn't tell a lie.
Jay LenoA new poll says that if the election were held today, both John Kerry and John Edwards would beat President Bush by double digit margins. The White House is so worried about this, they're now thinking of moving up the capture of Osama Bin Laden to next month.
Jay LenoClinton vetoed the repeal of the marriage tax. I guess Bill figures if he's married, then we all have to suffer.
Jay Leno