Climate experts say we should tell villagers in developing countries to reduce the amount of cooking smoke they generate to help fix global warming. You know, it's as if these people don't hate us enough already. I mean, they live in mud huts, they have thatch roofs, their clothes are made of straw. We pull up in a bunch of Humvees and SUVs going, 'Hey, you want to cut the smoke out of here?'

The Bush administration has apparently approved a plan to oust Saddam Hussein. I think that's President Bush's Father's Day gift to his Dad.

Happiness is a privilege.

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

It’s being reported that the economy lost 95,000 jobs in September. And that’s just people leaving the White House.

American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade Iraq, the whole place is oil and cash. It's like Republican Disneyland.

President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating.