If politicians all told the truth, we'd be out of business.

President Obama has begun a three-state bus tour. I believe the three states are: Confusion, Delusion, and Desperation.

Do you realize that the Bush administration has now produced more gay marriages than jobs?

According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be just the top 1 percent.

Last night I went out for Chinese. I picked up a Team USA Olympic uniform.

John Kerry and Ralph Nader met face-to-face, it was a historic meeting. Astronomers said today their meeting actually created what is called a 'charisma black hole.'

They said that President Bush's war in Iraq has cost the former Spanish Prime Minister his job. So President Bush isn't losing American jobs anymore, he's branching out to other countries.