I believe engineers will save the world.

An evangelical minister has had to resign after pictures surfaced showing him in a hot tub with two women. He claimed it was just a baptism gone terribly wrong.

In Afghanistan, U.S. troops are now holding an American man who has been fighting alongside the Taliban. His mother says he was born in Washington, D.C. and his father's a lawyer. Well, that explains it. ... He surrendered to authorities and said he wants to go back to his old job - airline security guard.

Attorney General John Ashcroft said there is a new credible terrorist threat. He said everything is under control; not to panic. And then he went back to his harmonically sealed bunker.

Geraldo has returned to the states. See? I told you airline security was a joke.

The Senate is now considering increasing government subsidies for corn growers to produce more ethanol. If we produce enough ethanol we can postpone our next invasion of a Middle Eastern country for two to three years.

In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court ruled President Obama's healthcare mandate is constitutional. This is a major victory for President Obama, who spent three years promoting it, and a major setback for Mitt Romney, who spent three years creating it.