As you know, today was Don't Take Your Illegal Immigrant To Work Day here in Los Angeles. No, all across the nation they had a Day Without Immigrants, is what they call it. Or, as Native Americans call it, the good ol' days.
Jay LenoJohn Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the rich and his wife said, 'Hey, shut up! What's the matter with you?! Are you nuts?!'
Jay LenoLike in [the 1950s] if you wanted to ruin someoneยดs career in Hollywood you claimed he was a Communist. Nowadays, you want to ruin someoneยดs career in Hollywood, you claim they are Republican.
Jay LenoFolks, we're starting to learn more and more about that man arrested in the New York SUV car bombing case. His name is Faisal Shahzad. He's from Pakistan. What tipped off the authorities he might be the bomber? His name is Faisal Shahzad. He's from Pakistan.
Jay Leno