President Obama met with leaders of the American Indian tribes and they honored the president by giving him his own Indian name: Running Deficits.

Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder.

Soup is probably a way associated with screwing you outside of a meal.

It is day two of the Democratic convention, and apparently they had a huge lighting problem in the convention hall today. They worked all day on it. They still couldn't get President Obama out of Bill Clinton's shadow.

As you know, there were lots of huge marches around the country yesterday to protest the immigration laws. The marches had quite an impact on businesses. Restaurants had to close, construction sites had to shut down, the Yankees had to forfeit a game. ... Do you realize that Americans are now doing the jobs that immigrants won't do because they're out protesting?

This problem with illegal immigration is nothing new. In fact, the Indians had a special name for it. They called it "white people."

There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, which I think means that he is definitely going to run for governor. Arnold is smart. He's in Mexico campaigning with the very people who'll be living here by election time.