The White House has finally found one guy that kinda remembers serving with President Bush in the National Guard. Now they just need to find someone who remembers Bush working on an economic plan. ... I think the White House spent more money looking for this guy than finding weapons of mass destruction.
Jay LenoU.S. Government has said they are now going to go after the terrorist's electronic banking system. You know what they should do? They should transfer bin Laden's funds to my bank. They'd mess up his deposits, screw up his statement and nickel and dime him to death with service charges.
Jay LenoThe White House is now urging Americans not to 'read too much' into last week's jobs report. In fact, they said it would be best if you didn't read it at all.
Jay LenoPresident Obama is coming under criticism now for not meeting with his jobs council. He hasn't met with his jobs council in over six months. You know the reason Obama hasn't met with his job council in six months? They're all out looking for jobs.
Jay LenoSo, Wesley Clark is running for president. Pretty amazing guy. Four star general, first in his class at West Point, supreme commander of NATO, saw combat in Vietnam, won the bronze star, silver star, the purple heart for being wounded in battle. See, I'm no political expert, but that sounds pretty good next to choking on a pretzel, falling off a scooter and dropping the dog.
Jay Leno