John McCain said that Barack Obama is already measuring the drapes in the White House. That's what he said. I understand Sarah Palin is already driving McCain around to look at assisted living facilities.

Show business is like Champagne. You'll appreciate it more if you don't drink it everyday

If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.

It's not called cocaine any more. It's now referred to as Crack Classic.

President Bush said that our kids must be taught how to read. He said if his aides never learned to read, they'd never be able to tell him what's in the newspapers every day.

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate.

President Obama was in Disney World today where he unveiled his new plan to create jobs. He was joined by Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse but not Goofy. He had to stay behind to tend to his vice presidential duties.