Ron Paul is in favor of letting states legalize marijuana, prostitution, and cocaine. So even if he doesn't win, that's going to be one heck of an election night party.

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it.

Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street

Marriage is grand. Divorce is about twenty grand.

Massachusetts became the first state to marry gay couples, though lawmakers say allowing gay couples to get married raises a lot of questions. You know, such as: does that best man invite both guys to the bachelor party?

I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand?

The Obama administration has admitted that under Obamacare, you might not be able to keep your doctor. At first the president guaranteed you'd be able to keep your doctor, and now they're saying you 'might' be able to. Today Obama changed his slogan from 'Yes we can' to 'Perhaps we could try. Can't promise anything.'