If you think of life as like a big pie, you can try to hold the whole pie and kill yourself trying to keep it, or you can slice it up and give some to the people around you, and you still have plenty left for yourself.

Nike actually has a pair of shoes called Air-Turbulence. Try getting past airline security wearing those. Might as well call them Air-Osama.

How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

The difference between Men and Women is that Men love The 3 Stooges, and Women think they're assholes.

Researchers at Harvard say that taking a power nap for an hour in the afternoon can totally refresh you. They say that by the time you wake up you'll feel so good, you'll be able to start looking for a new job.

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

Marriage is grand. Divorce is about twenty grand.