President Bush said global warming is happening much quicker than he thought, and then his staff pulled him aside and said 'It's just springtime.'

Experts are saying that President Bush's goal now is to politically humiliate Saddam Hussein. Why don't we just make him the next Democratic presidential nominee?

Actually, the University of California says they may start a marijuana research center. Really? I thought the University of California was a marijuana research center.

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.

Michael Jackson has a new baby boy; no word yet who the father is.

The worst thing about losing this job: I’m no longer covered by NBC. I have to sign up for ObamaCare.

American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade Iraq, the whole place is oil and cash. It's like Republican Disneyland.