On Capitol Hill, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales raised his right hand, swore to tell the truth, and then everybody had a good laugh and went back to what they were doing.

Today, you get better performance from a Ford Focus than a Ferrari from the mid-70s. [The Focus] is just as fast and with better fuel economy. It's fun to see supercar technology trickle down to everyday cars.

The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him.

President Obama said he plans on training 10,000 new math and science teachers. How about teaching math to that economic team of his?

It is said that life begins when the fetus can exist apart from its mother. By this definition, many people in Hollywood are legally dead.

They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and his second wife, his current wife, is worth around $700 million. So when John Kerry says he's going after the wealthy in this country, he's not just talking. He's doing it!

You know what Arnold Schwarzenegger and Meg Whitman have in common? They both got in trouble for stiffing the maid.