For the first time the people of Iraq are united. Today on CNN I saw a Kurd, a Shiite and a member of the Republican Guard coming together to cart off a big screen TV.

Rick Santorum is so conservative; he thinks KY Jelly is jam made in Kentucky.

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up.

There is a new book out about Hillary Clinton that claims Bill is still having affairs but Hillary continues to look the other way. The only problem is when Hillary does look the other way Bill's having sex with a women over there too.

An evangelical minister has had to resign after pictures surfaced showing him in a hot tub with two women. He claimed it was just a baptism gone terribly wrong.

People want to say there isn't racial profiling at the airport, but let's be honest. If you first name is Mohammed, and your last name isn't Ali, leave a little extra time.

The Stock Market was down today. Two major businesses declared bankruptcy, consumer spending is at an all time low - in other words, Bush is back on the job.