Form 1040 was chosen by the IRS because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.

Congress voted for tougher laws on corporations. So now when a corporation buys a senator, they need a receipt.

In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.

We're fighting three wars now. Imagine how many we'd be fighting if President Obama hadn't won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Today the Justice Department released e-mails where Walker criticized America. In the e-mails he said he never wanted to set foot in America again. See, that's the good part about hanging somebody. Their feet don't touch the ground.

Texas governor Rick Perry said God is calling on him to run for President. But Michele Bachmann said that God is calling on her to run for President. You know, if God is that indecisive, he's probably for Mitt Romney!

When you fix something with your hands it gives you a sense of accomplishment and a sense of self worth.