I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very angry.

I've been doing stand-up 29 years; there is no other career when you're finding your stride 30 years into it.

There was never a moment in George Carlin's career where he dipped below an A+. When he came out with the "Hippie Dippie Weatherman" on The Tonight Show, I mean, it seems so mundane now, but it was in black and white TV and the whole bit was that this guy smoked tons of grass and was a terrible weather man. "Forecast for tonight? Dark."

I don't know how you do it [working at office]; I would just get up and walk out. That's what I did for pretty much every job I've ever had.

If there are 1,500 people in a theater and they're all there to see you, there are no other guys. You're the guy. So it is a monastic life, it is very lonely, if I was prone to loneliness. It's a lot like wrestling, no one can throw a block for you, no one can give you a pass. Nobody can hand the ball off to you, it's you only for an hour and a half every night.

People that do "bits" and "jokes" or "one-liners" are going by the wayside.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.