There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting.

There was never a moment in George Carlin's career where he dipped below an A+. When he came out with the "Hippie Dippie Weatherman" on The Tonight Show, I mean, it seems so mundane now, but it was in black and white TV and the whole bit was that this guy smoked tons of grass and was a terrible weather man. "Forecast for tonight? Dark."

Joan Rivers is 80 and she's fantastic. She lives in mortal fear of not filling that 1,500-seat room.

What I've realized in the last year, 80% of my act has already happened to me, and it's not until you retell the story at a party or to a friend or it comes up on the podcast that you, I don't know why I'm not doing that onstage!

It's always a job when you're the reason they're assembling. If you're just doing shows and you're on a lineup with eight other guys, it's fun, it's great.

She's Cherokee Indian, which is great 'cause whenever we have sex, it rains.

You can vibe out when people are getting tired or they're too drunk to keep going along with.