It's very good to know when you're being lapped on the racetrack, 'cause you've got to put your foot down on the pedal and get going.

You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke thief," I just tell them to come to one of my shows.

Yogi Berra put it best, "If people don't want to come, we can't stop them."

I don't have the ability to do a nine-to-five nor do I have the desire to. Stand-up is the only thing that's come completely naturally to me.

I don't care about anybody's perception of me except for the audience.

You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.

I'm going to eventually shoot my own special, because you have to own your own content. My Turn (2003), that's never been released on DVD.