It's very good to know when you're being lapped on the racetrack, 'cause you've got to put your foot down on the pedal and get going.

My career isn't gonna screetch to a halt because some guy in Westbury filmed ten minutes of the show. "Well, we were gonna give you the sitcom but saw that bit you did about the Mormons in Westbury, so get outta here."

I don't have a nine-to-five brain.

First of all, my wife writes half my act. I don't know how I could "steal" from my wife.

The allure becomes, "Can I make these rooms bigger?" Can I fill these 1,500-seat rooms? Then the allure is, how much, if we're being honest, how much can I squeeze out of it financially?

True Yankees are born, not made.

I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.